That's alright, that's okay
I can wait, you're still a fly
Eating through
Trying to live in the space you live
But still, you're just a kid
You shouldn't read Dostoevsky at your age
That and nicotine will make you pale and lean
And twist your face like Mr. Grays
Religious manifests in paintings that you make
Or else your eyes will stay the same
Are you that hungry for a change?
Yup. Wow is right.
Ways to Wake-Up:
Marina Tsvetaeva [To kiss a forehead is to erase worry.]
Nov.4th Dream.
I had a most lovely dream the other night.
I was at a dorm room party and there was another boy there whom I actually know in my day to day life but have only just met.
He was tipsy but I was not. My alarm clock radio played a wonderful slow, French love song in the reality as he extended his hand for a dance. He clumsily waltzed me up and down the narrow space between the two dorm beds and we both laughed and laughed!
The song slowed and he held me close and I looked into his eyes which were small and half light brown/greenish, half dark brown, and his body was so cozy and warm. He put his arm around me and I nesseled into his small body, with my head on his shoulder. He then planted one large, warm kiss on my forehead and I tingled from head to toe, one more on the same spot as I snuggled closer, and finally one more as I woke up in my bed alone smiling - wonderfully warm. :)
To kiss a forehead is to erase worry.
I kiss your forehead.
To kiss the eyes is to lift sleeplessness.
I kiss your eyes.
To kiss the lips is to drink water.
I kiss your lips.
To kiss a forehead is to erase memory.
I kiss your forehead.
Last night while surfing the net I just happened to discover an amazing site called 'Etsy'. Etsy is a treasure trove of homemade goods. Clothes, accessories, art, pottery - everything! As I looked through the beautiful items I was in awe that I would actually buy a lot of the stuff. I actually liked the items. Although some of the stuff was pricey (ie; a 45 $ scarfette) most of it was reasonable considering someone actually had to sit down for days and knit, sew, paint, craft it etc. You aren't paying for some machine or child laborer in Bangladesh, you are paying for something crafted with care and you must pay a fair price to keep them afloat. After all they aren't a company, they are an independent.
You can find anything on this thing! I must have surfed it for at least an hour last night. Each item is unique and varied. Search is really fun with it, you can click on any color and a product that color will pop up. OR you get suggestions based on your favorite items. OR you can use the 'Geolocator' to find sellers close to you by clicking a flash map. OR use the 'treasury' featured items. etc. Very very neat, modern, alternative to mainstream. YAY.
I actually discovered the site through Katy Horan's art blog. Some of her stuff is on Etsy. The first painting I found by Katy was "Hey Mama Wolf" I was blown away! It had been a long time since I had loved a painting so much!
From what I've seen through her site, her work really reflects nature duologue and a bond between all beings. "Hey Mama Wolf" is colored more then here newer works. She basically sticks to earth tones from what I can see. Her work seems aboriginal, with images of scarifies, healers and offerings combined with paganism. Repeated imagery consists of trees, blood, breasts, and costume. All characters in her new paintings are women perhaps symbolizing a sisterhood we are lacking.... Not sure. It's also nice how not all the bodies are thin and "perfect". It's reassuring to see some sagging breasts and tummies- finally some realism! Overall very intriguing stuff. Her site is http://www.katyart.com.
It's is late, Saturday night. I had a busy and I was rather productive today but I am for some reason not able to sleep. Read for a while but that didn't help so now here I am- in front of the computer where I will never realize my fatigue until I am ready to zonk out right in this very chair.
My quest to regain my critical thinking continues in my reading.. but not really. I am reading Bret Easton Ellis's ' Less Then Zer0' which is not surprisingly very similar to ' Rules Of Attraction', and 'American Psycho'. Characters who are detached, drug addicted, numbly depressed and superficial. The book contains the routine designer name dropping, and fast paced misery as 'American Psycho' only without the murders. I set a goal June 1st to read all of Bret Ellis's works this summer. I am now questioning why I would want to. They are all the same!
I've decided to take a much needed break from the cocaine club scene of Bret Ellis and I have begun reading the interesting anthology of short stories that is 'Zoetrope'. I am only three stories in but already I can say they are truly interesting and keeping my attention fully. Something a book hasn't done fully for quite some time. God knows 'Life of Pi' didn't.
Zoe's light hearted approach to the future is welcomed after the line up of dystopia novels I have been reading this year; '1989', 'Brave New World', 'A Handmaidens Tale', ' The Blind Assassin', and most recently ' Oryx and Crake'. Yes, that's right, I have had quite the line up of Margret Atwood 's works ( I also read 'Robbers Bride'). Some very good, others not so much. 'A Handmaidens Tale' I was impressed with, 'Robbers Bride' not at all, 'Blind Assassin' mediocre, 'Oryx and Crake' creative, and awesome.
I suppose if I wish to expand my mind for university English "Introduction to Literature' I should be reading something a lot more challenging to prepare. Books on my list such as ' As I Lay Dying', 'Notes From The Underground', ' The Great Gatsby' ( which in truth is only on there because Holden from Catcher in the Rye enjoyed it), ' A portrait of an Artist as a Young Man' ( which is on the list because Astrid from 'White Oleander' had it recommended to her). Or perhaps something still more difficult such as 'Tess of the d'Urbervilles' .. though I'm Told "Jude The Obscure' is very boring.
Yes I am being pretentious. I will not deny it. With the correct context I think Iam probably a pretentious person. I would like to read these books to say I have read them and analyze them with others. I will read them one of these days but at the moment - what with work and the stress of life and everything- I have no desire to.
Enough rambling for tonight. It's getting into the wee hours and I need to be able to function tomorrow.
As my intellect deteriorates from odd sleeping schedules and lack of forced writing, I make a last ditch effort to salvage what ever knowledge I am yet to lose. Funny how utterly idiotic an educated girl can get when not participating in a structured school curriculum for a short amount of time.
I am trying to engage my brain by using BBC 's language site to improve my minimal French. 'Ma France' is a site which has a map of different themed videos one watches and answers quiz's on at the end of each. After surpassing the units; " Directions , Languages, Shopping, Work, and Arrangements" I am currently on the unit "Kids and Pets" which may never be of any use to me but who knows.
It's a good site but I'm not sure any of the vocabulary is sticking in my head. Which worries me because I have my mind set on taking university French when I was barely able to finish grade 11 French. Only passing with a 60% which took excruciating effort even with an easy teacher and a helpful friend/tutor who was the only reason I got through the oral exam. Ridiculous, the standards I set for myself. Reminiscent of forcing myself to take grade 11 math when I could have been excused under my own false pretext that " I could do it if only I would work harder". That year I worked harder and only passed on the mark with a 50%- again with excruciating effort, feeling like the class dunce. I should have taken general in grade 11 and 12 but I had my head in the clouds and pride that wouldn't be broken. Sometimes I can barely believe how foolish I really can be, but I suppose it's good for my over all being. Keeps my modesty in tact and at my top game.
This summer is my first encounter with full time work and I must say it is not a lot of fun. It is however teaching me many useful tidbits.
The first thing I am learning is full time work is extremely exhausting. I'm getting 45 hours of labor intensive work a week and I leave smelly , sore, angry , and tired.
I'm learning that I do not want to spend the rest of my life doing a job like this for 7.80$ an hour. I need to work hard on my education so I can get a fair wage while staying alive.
I'm learning that my boss cares more about saving a buck then the well being of her staff.
And most of all I'm learning about the social dynamics of a work setting. Disgruntled workers, shifty situations , gossiping boss and employees, long shifts, hot temperatures, and short staffed most people seem to be ready to walk out. I can most definitely see how a strike begins now.
I come home weary and the next day I feel sick from exhaustion. Barely able to walk on my burning feet, light headed and achy with a million things that I mean to do but never get around to. The summer goes by so fast I hardly experience it what so ever. It'll be gone before I know it and I will be slugging through the snow and writing university book reports.
I suppose that's life. I'm doing my best and trying to learn from the experience. I'm keeping my fun summer ambitions in mind and staying optimistic about completing them.
Yes that is right - Jay is finally on iTunes!!!!!! Songs 'Body is a Temple' , 'Half Boyfriend', '26 Hour Day' and 'Unstable boy' are all on there, each are 99 cents. Check him out on YouTube through my Google Video list on my site and link to YouTube to hear more. If you like now you can actually buy the tracks , yay! Hopefully this will lead to an actual album.
Also he has an ACTUAL music video for Body is a Temple :O.
I arrived back from my big trip to Ontario this week and found I noticed a lot of different things than I usually do. Often I notice the glamor of the city, the large buildings, the many shops, the differences between small town life basically. This trip I noticed the never ending roads, street signs and billboards promising another Wendy's around the corner. There were so many Tim Hortons, Wendys, MacDonalds and PetroCanada's along the way and when there were none there was sign indicating the duration of driving left until the next one was available.
The smog was very noticeable in built up areas as there were so many cars and trucks on the road, as well there seemed to be a great deal of litter. There were so many transfer trucks on the highways, our little car would speed past hitting 120km/h and I would look up into the glum, focused eyes of the drivers. Trying to predict what their lives were like, I did not see one women truck driver my whole journey. I did however count 5 smart cars during driving time.
Coming into the city the apartment buildings rose up as if growing from the earth. The sight felt unreal as if Godzilla was about to come and tear the skyscrapers from their supports and munch on the concrete like carrots. The large, windowed , business buildings reminded me of those made by doozers from Fraggle Rock.
Driving through built up areas the smell of fumes drifted into the car without even cracking a window, likely through the air vents. Honda dealerships popped up all over the terrain surrounded by many filled up parking lots. Shiny metal everywhere you look.
The city is less romantic now but still holds some of it's glory for me, I could see how a writer could gather inspiration living there. The isolation, the people watching, the depression, the multi-culturism. The city seems to be fertile ground for a cynical mind (which most good authors are).
The city seems to be a doggy dog world, everyone for themself. People are in a hurry and know where they are going, more like ants then human beings.
Recently an expert in BSE, Bovine spongiform encephalopathy (or Mad Cow Disease) came to speak to my class. I learnt a lot, specifically when discussing the economics and science behind the rendering process with her. It was during this time that it clicked for me how stunned the whole the cause of the national spread of this disease was.
A Ruminant is a hoofed animal that chews cud. (any cud-chewing hoofed mammal with an even number of toes and a stomach with multiple chambers, e.g. cattle, camels, and giraffes.)
(Microsoft® Encarta® 2006. © 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.)
Ever get sick of the same fake encounters, fake people, fake smiles in your life and then come home to fake TV? It's absolutely overdone yet there is still a demand for these sugarcoated TV lives. Good TV to me is hardship, struggle and quirky, screwed up people. I like to see real people who have experience indifference and pain, telling their real, unfabricated, uncensored stories. I want to see an artists smoking dope and people who haven't showered in three days talking about the time they met an eccentric guy at the super market, or hitchhiked to California.
"Camp Hollywood" is one of those great movies. Low budget and real. Steve Markle a young producer/director/comedian that filmed the entire movie with what looked like a home movie camera and a tripod. In this two hour show Steve stays in legendary hotel in Hollywood where he meets and interviews struggling actors, musicians and porn stars. These people have personality. This movie has character. This is a real reality show, I guarantee you whilst watching Steve's footage you will feel like you are part of the tenents large dysfunctional family yourself.
However with all low budget, independent movies/shows you will scarcely find them on the air waves. You'll be lucky if you get the chance to watch many, and sometimes equally fortunate if you even find anything about the actors/producers/and movie content online. When googleing Steve Markle I couldn't find any info other then " Steve Markle is a young producer/director/comedian who filmed and produced 'Camp Hollywood'.. " etc on the web. Not surprisingly the only picture I could find of this man of sparkling potential was the one I have posted.
What a crying shame that the best movies and TV shows are so hard to find on a regular televistion channel and are so under appreciated when watched. People these days are too impatient to watch anything that doesn't have constant make out sences and scripted gibberish talk. Falcon Beach is not good quality TV people!
American news begins with a red, white and blue flag flapping majestically in the air. THe USA promises freedom of speech , freedom of religion, freedoms of all freedoms in the land of milk and honey. But not for the those Muslims, or Atheists who have no morals but Christians are most welcome. Don't even think about challenging political figures in the USA. We'll ruin your career and make you out as the bad guy with our corrupt news!
Just look at celebrities who spoke their beliefs in the past and present. The Dixie Chicks for example. In 2003 the Dixie Chicks spoke out against George Bush's invasion of Iraq saying "they were ashamed George Bush came from Texas". Protests were held people were enraged, and their careers suffered greatly. They were called unpatriotic, and one man in this video at
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQ8WzYc32JQ) says "they should be shot for saying something like that". So much for "free speech" seems like the USA is closer to the society in 1984 or Brave New World then a free society. They are told to "shut up" ...hmm so much for expressing ones opinion. The following video is a trailer from "shut up and sing" a movie made on the controversy of the statement by the Dixie Chicks:
FOX news continues to put on "patriotic"material. This "patriotic" material is unhonest, censored, immature and viscous. In this video straight from FOX news greg gutfeld from Red Eye attacks FOX New's latest target Rosie O'donnell. The story name is notably called "Rosie's War on FOX". Greg brutally jokes Rosie is going under inversion therapy where "for 20-30 minutes she hangs up side down like a fat, lesbian , vampire bat". FOX, ABC and Donald Trump continues to insult Rosie's sexual orientation, and weight which has nothing to do with her words about FOXs newcasters or 9/11 (which she believes is a possible conspiracy).
Don't bother trying to post any opinions other than " Rosie is a fat bitch" under this video because all comments "must be approved" before posted. Much like the news this particular member of YouTube has taken to censoring opposing views on the video they have posted.
And just because she commented that it was odd that the 3rd tower fell down with nothing hitting it and she said that Christian radicals were just as dangerous as Muslim radicals she is now said to be "defending terrorists". Check out this video.
If this is the way the USA chooses to present their news it's no wonder that everything on the show is so one sided, no one of the opposite opinion would get on to voice theirs. Even the newscasters are bias for God's sake.
This cinnamon box is the lovely craft I made on the weekend. This is a variation from the directions posted below.
| |
Cinnamon Stick BoxInstructions: |
| 1. Begin by gluing four cinnamon sticks together to form the bottom of the box. 2. To form the sides, glue cinnamon sticks in an upright position all around the bottom. Gaps between the sticks will be decoratively filled in a later step. 3. While the box is drying, begin gluing the lid together. This is made by gluing nine cinnamon sticks together in a panel, then gluing a cinnamon stick at both ends of the panel to finish the lid. Cut one stick in half and glue it to the top to form a handle. 4. Once the box is dry, begin filling in gaps between the cinnamon sticks by inserting and gluing in place small tufts of deer moss. It is unlikely that the box walls will be exactly even, so add deer moss to the top of the shorter sticks to level out the box top. 5. Fill any gaps in the lid with deer moss. If you feel the box, or the lid, would look better with additional deer moss, add it where you wish. 6. Glue on a selection of small silk flowers and tiny green leaves. 7. Finish by wrapping a strand of raffia around the bottom of the box and tying it in a bow. Embellish with one small flower and a leaf. Variations: Personalize this lovely gift for a special teacher or for Mom on Mother's Day and fill with potpourri. To make a Christmas version, add holly and red berries and tie with a seasonal bow. For St. Patrick's Day, replace the silk flowers with clusters of green silk clover and tuck a bag of gold foil-covered chocolate coins inside. For Valentine's Day, decorate in red and white and fill with bag of cinnamon hearts. |
"I'm gonna be a celebrity
That means
Somebody everyone knows...
They('re) gonna recognize my eyes
My hair my teeth my boobs my nose" - Chicago , Roxie
There's honestly is nothing I hate to see more than crumby role models promoting the wrong things through their image, espically to innocent children. I work with children organizations and I know first hand that the majority of kids bow down to Hilary Duff, Avirl Lavigne, and similar artists. They are in love with the glamor of the ditsy, bubble gum , girly image of these girls. Tv, music videos, and certian music artists are cleaning away all the women impowerment ideas that elders have been trying so hard embed in their childrens minds. Honestly I can not think of one artist/band that will become a classic in the future from 2000 and up years. These songs that young girls listen to have no real message, they just talk about break ups and boys.
I suppose today's present artists are no different than any other teen idols that people listened to through out the ages (Pat Boone, Connie Frances, Frankie Avalon, Brenda Lee, the Spice Girls were my thing) . Maybe I'm just being a prude, or too overprotective. I just hope the kids grow into new music taste as they get older. I'm worried!
I guess what worries me the most is that the media image of women just seems to be getting worse in worse in spite of our growing equality and Independence. I just hope that these images won't revert the process. Sometimes I feel like even in grade 12 the message to women is changing, I differently see a not all that new vanity and superficial nature in students. Western society really worries me because it focuses so much on image, and instant gratification. I must say I hate growing up with the "gimmie-gimmie" generation (which we are all guilty of). I really hate to see the number of shopping, boy obsessed growing.
It's just for anyone to worry about this generation because they are the ones are going to continue the movement to save our earth that we have depleted. These kids are going to have great ambition, smarts, leadership, confidence and drive to get out there and make a difference. I believe they can do that without the bubble gum and possibly with the bubble gum pop music
but I hate taking the gamble. If I ever have children I am going to raise them as critical thinkers, and have influential, inspirational, stimulating music playing.
Possibly the problem today is that women in the spotlight and in general are trying to express their femininity in the wrong ways. Maybe people have just become too smart for their own good and now instead of progressing we have become self destructive. I don't know what it is but what ever it is people in our society have serious issues.We need the youth now and next generations to grow up with new strength to fix up the problems we have created over the centuries.
What is it with this new fad where people use the word 'gay' instead of stupid, and as an insult. "Your gay" , "that's gay" , "could you get more gay?" - well get ready for back lash..." you're so straight!" How do you like that!? Oh burnnnnnnn.
Hmm..nope just doesn't have the same effect does it? Well what is the difference between my insult and theirs? The difference is that homosexuals these days are discriminated against. No one honestly seems to have a beef with heterosexuals these days just like no one seems to discriminate against the white race.
I think this whole fad must of started when homophobic individuals started using the word and then the whole thing just spread to people who don't think about their choice of words. The word 'gay' is now the cool thing to say, it just rolls off peoples tongues. I honestly think that the majority of people don't mean a thing by it the improper usage of 'gay'.
I can see the whole thing being very offensive to homosexuals, I'm heterosexual and I find it offensive! I honestly wish people would learn some new vocabulary and drop the habit. Homosexuals are prosecuted enough without people "accidently" taking their sexual orientation and making it into a insult.
Another word I find offensive is 'retard' to mean 'stupid'. Again this seems to be a fad, people like saying it, and don't think about what they are doing. "That's retarded" , "you're retarded" etc etc. Again I am not mentally disabled but this is offensive, it is an insult to those who are mentally disabled. Thank Buddha( 
)'Jewish' didn't catch on as an insult. *slaps forehead*.
These words are absolutely ridiculous, they make people sound like they can think of anything better to say. It's much like people who swear every second word because they can't be bothered to think of anything else to say.
I wish we would stop this foolishness. I mean come on people lets not be homophobic or discriminate. Think about what you say it will benefit you as much as it will the next person. Now don't get me wrong when I say "think about what you say" I don't mean to censor yourself. No express your self, make use of your right to free speech. But when you express your outright outrage about same sex relationships please do it with intelligence and wit and not just by saying "your GAY ". 
-Peace.
The Angry Giraffe
This year I discovered a new category of art. It is called Outsider Art, and it is characterized by artists who are for whatever reason disconnected with society. Often these individuals are or were held at an mental institution. Some of the great "Outsider" artists I have discovered are:
March Break is such a treasure! Even if you haven't gone of on an EF tour to Egypt or Paris, just staying home is the best. It's a time to recover, a time to sleeeeeeeeep, a time to create, and catch up with work. For the first time in you don't know when you can read a new book without interruption, sleep in , stay up watching late night movies and start a new project. It's not like a weekend either, week ends are simply a tease, two late nights, one sleep in and then you're all messed up for school that Monday.
As of yet I haven't ventured out into the world other than to visit my father and watch the federal budget at his place ( plus pre and post stuff -- yepee haha ). That is just fine with me though, it's great to eat egg salad and not worry about your breath, and stay in my PJ's all day long. This is not to say I haven't been oddly productive though, I've put up a bulletin board, read half a book, written my three blog articles, and made the awesome mobile you see here. The mobiles message focuses on the uniqueness of every person. It's easy to tell what article inspired me to make this mobile by the close up image! -- (See dreadlocks can be sophisticated).
I did not draw the faces, although I did create them using 'Ultimate Flash Face' online: http://flashface.ctapt.de/ ( a very amusing site, with some truly ugly hair styles haha).
So although I haven't done absolutely nothing I certainly haven't done what I should be doing which is writing my two papers for school. I have to do one small one on Jerry Lewis, and one large research paper on Bio fuels, both of which are hardly started. I'm not worried as of yet, but I'm sure I will be pulling my hair out by Sunday. :)
Wish me luck, I just may need it when the march break doziness wears off and reality sinks in!
That's right if you dread your hair well.. YOU my friend smell like a monkey because you don't ever wash ! You're scruffy and you are such a hippy you take mind altering drugs and hug trees!
Not quite :) . I don't have dreads so maybe I can't speak on this topic, (although I have dreaded hair before) but I believe that the prejudice toward those who do has gone too far. People who have dreadlocks are not a bunch of pychodelic beings! They simply like the style, or think it is more natural. I personally have always loved the look of dreaded hair, I think it is beautiful and very sexy.
The job situation believe it or not sounds pretty slim for those with dreads. I have read some horror stories about getting fired, or not hired even with good qualifications because people seem to assume that they are unclean or rebellious. Should anyone be refused from a job because they don't do their hair the same as another person I think not, but obviously it's more then just dreaded hair. The big problem this all ties into is a lack of open mindedness. Here is a link with some of the stories I read: http://www.naani.com/index.html?lang=en-us&target=d109.html
Myths about dreadlocks need to be debunked! Dreads take maintenance just like any hair, in fact they take quite a lot of time to clean and maintain. They are clean and natural and they are beautiful. People need to stop the judging, we need more variety in the work place as it is. People should be pleased to see something unique in the public, unfortunately I can't force anyone into that. I just wish people would open their minds to new things.
Anyway that's my 2 cents.
The Pussy Cat Dolls are the new ‘it’ group on the music front. Much like other artists these days they have next to no talent, and their popularity is only credit to their image. That’s right they strive to wear the shortest skirts, booty shorts and tops they possibly can to seduce the general public into buying their talent less records.
More appalling yet is their new ‘The Search for the Next Pussy Cat Doll’ TV show. The group chooses the sluttiest, ditsiest , most naive eight girls they can find to move into a house to perform and each week another girl is voted off. One week they even performed a strip tease for an audience as a challenge. However these girls singing voices are not impressive. Their bodies on the other hand, I’ll admit, are the media image of ideal. Pictures of the contestants show thin, big breasted, long haired girls batting their eyes lashes and pulling up their scraps of fabric that are meant to be clothes. Don’t believe me? Check out the front page image of the show’s site.
These poor girls seem to actually believe that they are there for their dancing, singing and personality. On the first entering of the house the girls see murals of the present Pussy Cat Dolls on the walls and the host tells them “here are the girls you are aspiring to be” and the girls scream with excitement. The present Dolls on the same episode sit with their fishnet stockings and belly tops on and tell the girls that what they need to win the competition. Confidence (hardly).
The girls on the show talk about how hard they will work to win the competition, and one
(Anastacia I think) talks about her struggle to overcome her weight. She tells the camera that when she was overweight she had ‘no friends’ but after she had lost it ‘ she made many new ones and was attractive’ . This show is like Hitler propaganda. It tells young girls that in order to be happy and popular you must be thin and conform to societies mold.
I mourn for all the young girls today that have role models like Nelly Furtado, Gwen Stephanie, and the Pussy Cat Dolls. It must be near impossible for young girls to resist the images they are being spoon fed daily. Girls like everyone want to be beautiful and accepted. If they think that looking like the Pussy Cat Dolls or any of these other bad role models is going to help them of course they are going to try and fit that mold. No wonder we have so many underweight teens with eating disorders.
Now I can forgive high and dry males for liking these ladies who are openly belittling themselves but the thing that I can’t understand is :
#1. How it’s possible this is on TV for young impressionable teen minds can see it
#2. Why women watch, like and support the travesty that this band and show is!
That’s right, my question is why do women support this material!? Yes I can understand men enjoying the material, it is basically porn, but this is creating the image that women have suffered long and hard to destroy with the feminist movement. Women didn’t fight tooth and nail for equality to be shut down with these meat images of women everywhere they look! Equality has given us the opportunity to vote, work, have fun, and this is what we are using it for!? Why would we as women want to portray in the media the very things that we have been fighting so hard to get men to stop showing. We have had enough rap videos telling us that we are hoes, now we are doing it ourselves? It just doesn’t make sense.
