Things I Learnt about Sudan Today.

So today I met a few new Sudanese friends and they told me all kinds of interesting history and information about Sudan and this is what I remember to share:

Sudan gained it's Independence in 1952, before it was colonized by the British (surprise, surprise) who brought the religion of Christianity. The civil war has been ravaging the country for 60 years 1955-present. The civil war is a result of clashing regions of Sudan, the north which is predominantly Muslim and the south which is populated with Christians. The Muslim influence comes from Egypt which ruled for Britain due to their close location to Sudan, many of the soldiers etc being Egyptian at the time and then ruling alone after Britain left. Many Egyptian men came into Sudan during their time of rule and chose African wives whom they had children with. As a result the Northern part of Sudan now has many Muslim, African/Egyptian mixed children. In my understanding their Arab status is considered Superior and they consider themselves more Arab then African. Another reason Egypt wants to keep such a strong hold on Sudan is because of the Nile River which runs through Sudan. The Egyptians want to control how the Sudanese use this water because they have so much invested in it for irrigation. Sudan, and a few other countries (Uganda etc) signed a contract with Egypt in 1933 that said that they could use the water but not build dams etc and if their were floods Egypt would compensate the people. Except the countries are regularly flooded and never compensated.

Because of the north and south's total difference in belief systems it causes great conflict. For example if Christians go into he capital they can be arrested by Muslims authorities who have made drinking illegal due to their religious beliefs.

In 2011 a referendum will be held and the Sudanese people will be able to vote for whether or not they want the country separated. The men I was talking to desperately want the boundary to be draw so that it would be safe for them to go back to their homes. They were driven out of their homes because of the civil war and into Kakuma for four years! If a boundary were to be drawn then the Sudanese people would be somewhat more protected and secure on the North and South.

They also spoke to me about naming. The men in Sudan have names starting with "Me" that is a male beginning, where as female names start with 'N' or a male's name with the M dropped. The second part of the name means something. Melaku for example means 'angel', and Melajab means something like a very valuable bull (the colors of a very valuable bull- white and black), so when he was born his mothers dowry probably included a bull. And Malaju means foreigner, so he was probably born outside of his community.

Melaju and Melajab were telling me about wives and dowry in their country. Melajab told me that dowry is a precious gift appreciating the value of the woman, talking to me almost lovingly touching my leg and smiling gently looking into my eyes as if to hypnotize me or melt me like butter with his talk of my womanly value. Melaju on the other hand spoke strongly about his belief in progress beyond dowry. Because dowry causes a lot of problems in a relationship. Men often feel that they have the right to beat their wives, and women feel in debt to their husbands. If the couple feel inclined to divorce it is very rare and there is then the dilemma of what to do with the dowry. Divorce is also very rare among the people of Melaju's small traditional community. If a husband and wife want to divorce the community gets involved, and disapproving, try to persuade them to resolve their differences and stay together. Also if men and women separate it is a lot harder for them to get second husband/wives. If the two must go to court witnesses (community leaders) come forward and present all information about the dowry etc. Everything is mental, there are no documents. Therefore it is very rare to divorce!

End.

My Perfect Day.

Today was my kind of day! I got together with a bunch of activists from DalHousie to go to an annual fundraiser at Grand Pre Vineyard, where we students pick grapes and get paid by the hour which we donate to bringing refugees to Canada. I knew two people, and I met so many more!
It was a beautiful crisp fall day, and picking wasn't overly strenuous. It was nice just to be outdoors again and experience something new. The Vineyard was in the Annopolis Valley, which I had never been to and was so beautiful! We even saw a bald eagle!














Then after picking and lunch was finished we all got a tour of the winery and wine tasted! And even though I'm not a huge fan of wine I didn't find it too bad. I really liked the white dessert wine :). Then after that we all went to a lookout to see all of the valley which was gorgeous!! And then we went to the local farmers market and bought the famous, delicious valley apples and maple sugar candy *drool*.





























Then we went to our friends country home on an apple orchard and at a big lovely spaghetti supper! After dinner I had an amazing conversation with my new Sudanese friends, all WUSC sponsored students. I learnt so much! I learnt all about the conflicts in Sudan and the history of it. Which I will write separately from this entry because I learnt sooo much from these men! They are really, really great guys, and I feel like I gained such an abundance of knowledge about their culture and my misconceptions. For example in Ethopia if you have maintained an A average you are eligible for a totally free post secondary education, with free meals etc, which I did not know. Also the Kakuma refugee camp has an actual, established, bar on it's grounds, which camp residents can work at and go to. Something most people wouldn't suspect. I think it's so easy to see refugees as poor, uneducated, behind the times, people like pictures you see in World Vision commercials, more like objects then people. Not like us. You know? So it's so interesting to talk with them and straighten out your outsider mind set.














So it was basically 12 hours of fun. It was so nice to get out and have good clean fun again. :)

Inspirational Day Part 2

So after I returned from town I ate supper and took off again to buy some much needed food! As I was heading to the backery a few streets down, on a now chilly evening, I met a homeless man huddled up by a fence on the street. I remembered what my sociology professor has told us about the homeless in last weeks class- people usually can't look a homeless person in the eyes, because it causes shame and it hurts. It forces you to face the fact that these are people too! Anywho I made a point to look at this man and respond to him when he said hello politely. However the backery next store was closing in a few minutes so I was in a hurry. Once inside I decided to treat him to something aswell. When I came outside I engaged him in coversation, all though he seemed very distant and perhaps drugged. He had very frightening eyes, and a slow, perhaps delayed speech. I asked him if he'd ever been to the backery next store and he said yes, although he didn't seem to understand what I was asking. And I gave him the cookies and told him I'd just bought myself some and had heard good things about the backery. I wish I could of done more, but it was a good start. Someday I really want to make it my goal to be more human with the people that need it the most, and have more dialogue with the homeless. He said "thank you love" and I was on my way. I hope he likes them.. I hope I got a good kind! I felt kind of stupid buying him some stupid cookies instead of something really nutritious, or a blanket or something.. Oh well.

Anyway next I went to the market and gathered up some grub. It was here that I met the most amazing woman at cash! She was a big black lady, probably around 50 years old. She looked very tired and I asked her if she was and how her day was. She told me that she is a mature, Masters student at DalHousie and she works 4 jobs!! She's had 3 kids aswell, who are also in university. I told her that it sounded like she did a good job with them!

I don't know how she does it, I told her I often have trouble balancing my school alone. She told me that going to back to school takes guts, but it's never to late and it's one of the best things she's ever done for herself. She told me it's truely fullfilling. When I told her my mom wants to go get her Red Seal (to be a cheif) she told me to tell her to do it! Call her tonight in fact !

Her pastor once said something during a sermon at her church that changed her life. He said:

"The richess places in the world are not the oil fields of Kuwaite
or the diamond mines of South Africa but the cemetaries filled with so many dead who never fullfilled their dreams"

Last semester she maintained a B average! She's now writing her Masters thesis with Political Science as her major.

On my way home I swear I didn't even feel the weight of my groceries or the pain in my feet and I speed walked home. Kind of brought me down coming back into the lazy, negetive atmosphere of my student housing though. A mess of dishes everywhere, and my roommate bitching as usual "Ughhhh I feel like deathhhh". Arg well maybe you shouldn't of drank so much last night, slept all day, and eaten only poutine :|! Anyway the first thing I did once unpacking the groceries is message mom about this whole story.

I think I love life again!

I'm Back!

Today was an amazing fullfilling, empowering day. Lately I've been so down, apathetic, and unenergetic and I couldn't figure out why. Today I spent sometime with myself and found myself again. The real, true me. I went and got things sorted out at the bank, made all my appiontments, hit up my favorite shops, read the local activist magazine, went to Pete's Fruitique bought a delishious veggie hotdog with sauerkraut and ate it out on the street. Little by little I started feeling energy and happiness flow back into my soul. Soon I was smiling walking down the street and feeling beautiful again, I felt like everyone was looking at how good I looked! People seemed interesting to me again, I didn't feel like they hated me, were annoying, or were thinking of how ugly I looked. I became friendly again, and the guy at the supermarket even hit on me! I had coversations with everyone who served me today like friends, and I saw a silly bulldog who didn't want to walk with his owner today and I actually laughed aloud! Very rare these days! And then again farther on my way, I saw a group of japenese boys laying on a bed matress on the sidewalk waiting to move into a house, and I laughed with them as I walked by. I swear I even looked happier when I got home, and I felt healthy for the first time since early September. I think the color has returned to my face!

I feel like I've made a break through finally. My mind has returned bringing me clarity, intelligence, and memory that I've been long waiting for. Oh joy! I'm back!

A calling? - (Last night's dream)

I had a beautiful dream last night, I was attending some type of sporting event at a school and the sport involved horses riding around and around a base ball diamond in a high-walled arena type building. I was standing at the sidelines down by a huge wooden doorway, the whole diamond was surrounded by stone walls like the gladiators used to fight in and thousands of spectators watched from the seating on the side opposite of me.

I was chatting with a friend who was for some reason telling me his woes about a his girl friend, who was much older then himself. So much older in fact that people assumed it was his mother. Random I know, but I really didn't care, rather I focused my attention on the powerful feet of the horses and their majestic canter around the ring.

Just then a light rain began to fall and a wave of worry fell over me as the dark clouds rolled in. I told my friend that the horses would get hurt if the ground became too mucky and I was worried because they were soon going to be exhausted from this constant and pointless canter that seemed to entertain and entrance the crowd so greatly. The rain began to fall harder and I kept repeating to my friend "they are going to get hurt if the ground gets too wet!".

The rain suddenly came down harder with a clap of thunder and the crowd roared in excitement as if a goal had been scored. The horses slowed but continued valiantly, looking dry and untouched somehow by the storm, their manes flying slow motion like you see on Pantene hair commercials. Around the circle they rode, only slightly slower, like a carousel with a wrench thrown into the gears.

The rain fell so hard it hit the ground with force, splattering in drops the size of small pancakes. The ground became very dark in color, thick and sticky. The horses acted like mixing beaters as if stirring a bowl of rich brownie batter. I remained at the door and watched anxiously worrying for the welfare of the horses. Two of the horses got their foot stuck in the mud and slipped hurting their front legs, only to limp on in the circle and then to regain their strength as if by a miracle. The arena began to flood like a swimming pool, the spectators now nowhere to be seen. The horses were in a chaotic panic no longer riding the circle but galloping in horror around the ring's wall in all directions looking for escape. I opened the ring door and entered. There must of been fifteen horses, all huge with strong prominent muscles and well groomed coats and manes. I stood by an open door and the huge mammals began riding towards me. It was frightening and overwhelming, as they could easily crush me under their great force, yet I knew that wasn't their intention. They came to me like a child runs to it's mother in fright, in need of comfort and reassurance. They rode in a spaced out herd but arrived at my feet one by one. I took ahold of their halters (they weren't wearing bridles) and kept stroking and hugging their large necks with tears in my eyes but with an overwhelming happiness filling me up. A completeness, connection and pure love. As if I had met a long lost loved one after being apart and worried about them for so long. I kept thinking "I missed you, I missed you!" and "how can I be with horses again? I have to be with them again."
In the end I lead them out one by one and lead them to safety.










I used to ride 4 years ago.. and I always felt I had connection with the horses but I quit because I didn't want to ride proffessionally and felt that my instructor was too intense.. I just wanted to ride and have fun. I'd love to have my own horse someday, it's my dream.

Peace

The Club Scene (narrative)

"Predrinks with your girls erase the anxiety of social interaction and vanish taboos, making most anything excusable. Stupid remarks, disorientation, forgetting peoples names all quite forgivable in your current state. The music is blasting, the same club songs over and over at the house, as if you were practicing for the real deal or getting pumped up for a big game. My girls groom each other like they are preparing for some type of ceremony, lending clothes, straightening each others hair, doing their make up. Becoming totally different people. They dress up in costumes; bright dresses that are more like shirts, paired with leggings and heels. Making themselves up to look "skanky", wearing the title almost proudly.

After drunken stumbling to the bar, you wait in the freezing cold in your dresses trying to keep your hair in check and your feet safely on the ground, making sure you have all your things still and that you get the correct change after every interaction. The bouncer at the door checks my id and bag, and then I'm admitted into the madness. Entering the club is like entering a parallel universe, the music pumps, beating to the peoples writhing bodies. The whole place seems to exude a dangerous and exciting sensuality, as people take advantage of their unaccountability and disguises. The men who aren't on the dance floor seem to linger eyeing women near the doorways and in the shadows , drooling, waiting to pounce like tigers. The club lights flash and the music pounds its rhythm into my very being, rattling like electric shock surging through my rib cage as I step over the sharp floor of broken glass. Crunch, crunch, crunch, feeling the crushing of brown beer bottles and glasses under my feet. I'm surrounded by people, all over the dance floor, hands in the air, shouting lyrics, flipping hair, shaking their asses. People above too with drinks looking down on us, mostly men, their faces green, red, blue and yellow as the lights hit them. The drunkest girls get up on the stages on the side of the club, getting up on the poles. Men roam, weaving in and out of the groups, wriggling through spaces, scouting for girls, taking it all in. Looking suave like blank slates, nothing but testosterone behind the eyes.

Most rules are discontinued at this point. Girls act as if performing mating dances, and men approach licking their lips and grabbing. It is perhaps as close as humans will ever get to being primal like other mammals, as men choose their ladies and pull them close from behind, women unopposing in most cases. And then it's like you are fucking right on the floor and the men will feel you and rub you and try to take you home. And that's when you are shocked into reality again if you are sober enough, and responsible you will put a stop to it and run to another man or back to your friends or home..
............................................
.. End... "