My life in January

So slowely but surely I've been trying to turn over a new leaf, and live my best life, be a person I can feel proud of and not be so sad all the time. Although I still have my days of complete and udder self loathing they are less in number. I have started going to the gym 5 days a week and walking my landlord's dogs once a day for an hour on top (for 2 days so far). I have lost 3 pounds so far and feel much more firm, healthy and strong. I feel like I am accomplishing something with my healthy eating and exercise, working towards a better me who is strong and capable of facing anything that comes my way. I think the whole thing is really boosting my confidence, since it's something I have tried and failed at so many times, but feel like it's the real deal this time. I really am comitted. I've been at it for three weeks now and have gone to the gym 12 times (I mark them off to keep me modest) which isn't bad. I really plan to stick to things this time and never stop but continue living actively as a lifestyle.

I went out shopping last night and actually bought clothes. I bought a sweater that I actually look really good in and can wear confidently for International Night this Saturday (which WUSC is doing coat check at). I'm going to look gorgeous!! Vicky is curling my hair and I bet Bec will do my make up and I'm wearing heels.. and I'm going to blow everyone away!!
I also bought a bunch of sexy bras and panties and I actually feel like I look HOT in them. Makes me happy because my ex is definately missing out, especially when I finish tonning up. I'm going to be a complete knock out by the summer I bet! Cuteness to SEXINESS.

Third. I'm keeping my room relatively clean and pitching in with cleaning the house more. :D
I can walk on the floor, sleep in my bed and work at my desk.

Fourth. I'm doing well in school. Trying my best to keep up in readings, though it's easy to get slack and I'm starting to get tired and slip but I'll catch up soon. I actually understand most economics concepts which I'm proud of. Not doing great on the small class quizes but I'll kill the assignment and tests hopefully. Also behind in geography and philosophy ethics course readings, but my prof likes me, and I'm doing alright in my philosophy critical thinking course so far. I've only skipped one class (my 8:30am) since begining school again.

Socially I'm still really sour but that'll come eventually. I need to feel good about myself and then I'll be able to love others and they'll be able to love me. Soon I'll have confidence hopefully. These are only hard patches, and they force me to change. To become more positive, repair damaging mentalities, and change bad habits. I've overcome depressions before I'll do it again. They are only the sign that growing up is in order.