The Power of Inclusion. - I am a purple mushroom-

This is what I'm studying right now for sociology and it's funny because it's what my whole life right now is centering around. Loneliness and feeling disliked, or as an outsider.
Exclusion is one of the most painful and tiring things I know of. When I don't have friends I feel like I'm a failure. These feelings of exclusion from the university experience that has evolved for second year students at my school of spending nights at the campus pub and so on that I don't take part in. It's really hard.

And then there's the fact that I dont' fit in with my roommates (nor do I desire to). I don't like to invite people I like who are like me over here because I'm embarrassed by them being so annoying and superficial..
This one girl acts irritatingly impatient with me and talks to me like an idiot, sort of like I used to talk with my mom when I was like 16! Something I feel horrible about. Today for example I come into the kitchen after waking up at 2pm , very late, I say ''Guess what time I finally got to sleep last night!'' and she gives me this ugly, disgusted sneer, turns back to what she's doing and says '' I don't care''. JESUS CHRIST she is rude! Who does that!?!? And she does it all the time. Just the other day I asked her ''So what are you doing this weekend?'' and she says rudely studying, then I say ''Oh, what for?'' and she stops in mid step, looks at me, her top lip lifts, her eyes squint, her noise crinkles like she's repulsed, SNEERING AT ME! She says ''exams, DUH''. Oh I flipped lid! How am I supposed to know when you're exams are!!! FUCK.
The other girls are just utterly uninterested in everything I say and won't give me the respect to actually listen to what I'm saying. I could tell them I was going to kill myself and they would cut me off mid sentence with '' OMG look who just added me to Facebook!!! Ahhhh the fat fag from the club!! GAWD what a poor fucker! I only danced with him because I was smashed and felt BAD for him!! O-M-G what a CREEPER!''. *sigh*
And then there's the constant duologue that I get to hear everyday coming from them. Lines repeated like those out of a doll with limited phrases.
''Fuck my life''
''I feel like ass''
'' I feel like death''
'' I feel disgusting''
'' GOD, I'm sooo fat''
'' Let's go to McDonalds''



-End.